The best thing I never had.

Yesterday made a year since the last time BD and I tried to reconcile and be a family and it (plus a low alcohol tolerance and one Mike’s Lite lemonade) caused me to do a lot of thinking this weekend. The one thing I wanted most in the world–to NOT be a single mother–didn’t happen. And it is the best thing that has ever happened to me. 

I never thought that I could be happy in a situation like this, I thought that having the nuclear family was what would make me happy. But once I really thought about it, I don’t know if I could say I would be happy right now if things had worked out. This time last year I couldn’t ever believe that I would smile again, or that I would feel like a whole woman because I had “failed” at making my family work. But I didn’t and I still haven’t. I do just as much for my family, it’s just one person short. 

What I’ve learned over the past year is that not getting the “American Dream” I had in mind of having my family together and not having to share custody is the best damn thing that’s ever happened to me. Let Beyonce tell you:



xoxo SSM


2 thoughts on “The best thing I never had.

  1. I throughly enjoyed reading this post as I have also always enjoyed reading your tweets. I’m sad to see you go. But I completely understand. I, too, find it frustrating that so many moms want to make blanket statements about a certain aspect of motherhood. It isn’t the same experience for every one. And that isn’t a bad thing. I just wish it was a more supportive community. I hope you continue to blog. I really enjoy reading your thoughts & hearing your stories.

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