All the stuff you can’t talk about

Why are you allowed to miss your husband or not be able to parent/function/exist without him, but I am chastised for wanting one (sometimes).

I was having a conversation with a good friend a while ago, and she brought this topic up to me. I’m really interested in it.

The other day, I had a breakdown about needing to be appreciated sometimes. Tons of married people that have never been single parents commented saying how the only “validation” I need should come from my son. My son that is two years old. These people believe that I should be quite alright with people acting as though I don’t ever do anything (and if I do it’s not good enough) until my son is old enough to appreciate how hard I have worked for him. If you’re a parent of an older child, you know how long that will be!

What doesn’t make sense to me is that these same people post and whine when their s/o is gone and they have to handle life with children alone and that’s perfectly fine, but it’s a sin when a single mother would like to have even a fraction of the same support (monetarily and emotionally) that they do. If I, as a single mother, say that sometimes I just wish I had someone on my side to encourage me and hold my hand while I cry over being stressed out I am told to stop focusing so much on guys and live for my son. What’s the difference? How is me wanting the support of another loving adult different from you either bragging because you have it or whining because you have to take care of your kids alone for 2 days while your husband is away on a work trip (poor you!).

“I basically know what it’s like to be a single mom. My husband is at work all the time.” But you don’t know. You have no idea what it’s like to have moments where you need someone else to even call on the damn phone and cry because it took 3 hours to get your screaming child to bed. You don’t know what it’s like to sit by yourself after bedtime and have no one to talk to. You don’t get it.

I don’t understand that difference, really. It’s weird how we are told to carry our cross silently, yet (most) non-singles are the main ones posting daily about missing their s/o and NOBODY ever tells them to focus on their child or that they don’t need a man. What makes the difference? How can you tell which women don’t need a man and which ones do? Why is it wrong for me to want the same love/appreciation/affection you constantly brag about for people (like me, probably) to be jealous of? For the record, most people are more annoyed than jealous. I just don’t get this double standard. Like..maybe you should focus more on your kids and less on posting online how much you love your boyfriend/husband every 10 minutes.


They say “love is a beautiful thing” but wanting to love? AND YOU HAVE KID(S)?! You just need to stop being so selfish and take care of your babies. They will love and appreciate you..once they become adults. And that should be more than enough for you!


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